You Can Now Drink Your Skincare at Egypt’s 1980

If you’ve ever gagged on a spoonful of sea moss while trying to convince yourself it “tastes like the ocean” (as if that’s a compliment), you’re not alone - you’ve simply become a loyal subject of the Kingdom of Online Wellness. You likely also own a rattling pouch of capsules named things like Ashwagandha Supreme Ultra Calm Plus™, purchased in a midnight spiral after a TikTok diagnosed your cortisol as “feral.” And of course, there's the daily ritual: an oat-milk-half-sweet-iced-latte-with-a-shot-of-intentionality, which does absolutely nothing but cost more than lunch.

Enter: 1980. The Egyptian restaurant that’s decided enough is enough. You can now drink your skincare. Not smear it. Not dab it gently while whispering affirmations. Not absorb it via a jade roller charged in moonlight. Just sip it - like a sane, time-saving adult.

The smoothies are packed with collagen and come with names like Kill Barbie and Peach Offender, because apparently, your glow-up needs both amino acids and a sense of irony. So retire the pill packs, cancel the moss subscription, and try something that won’t prompt your coworkers to stage an intervention.