This Chicken Is Stressed, Red, and More Relatable Than You’d Like

Some chickens are free-range. Others are organic. This one? It’s emotionally compressed.

Meet Madghout Dajaj, New Cairo’s tribute to the overcooked hustle lifestyle - served bright red and visibly under duress. The name translates, more or less, to “squashed chicken under emotional and literal pressure,” which feels oddly familiar if you’ve ever tried to park in front of a bank on a Sunday.

The bird arrives steaming, spicy, and the exact shade of a panic attack. (Fun fact: it used to be green. Is it seasonal? Mood-based? A fashion collab? Who’s to say. We’re quietly bracing for Sorbet Pink come July.)

But the true wildcard on the menu? Molokhia crisps. Depending on your palate, they land somewhere between fried jute leaf and a very crunchy forest floor. You’ll either declare them revolutionary, or quietly leave them on the plate like a suspicious herb.

So if you’re feeling flattened by life, go eat the chicken. Misery loves company - and apparently, ta’leya.